I was recently asked to share our journey for a spotlight on Autism Speaks. Here it is....

Asher’s journey with Autism started a little over eight years ago. He was a typical toddler hitting all of his milestones at the recommended ages. We were excited to find out we were pregnant with our daughter Scarlett, it was just shy of his 6 month check up. He would have his built in best friend and they would be close in age, we couldn’t wait!  Shortly, after our daughter arrived we noticed Asher not speaking as much, not babbling, he went silent it seemed. Also, he was having some emotional outbursts, crying often, and showing less interest in things he used to enjoy. We took him for his yearly check up, where his pediatrician told us not to be concerned since he previously had talked and met his goals. He suggested to us that Asher was spending day in and out with his baby sister and simply mimicking what he was seeing. All of which made sense to us as first time parents, he’s the doctor so he knows best.

One of my best friends had a son the day before Asher was born. We actually had the same due date. I was watching him flourish, yet Asher seemed to be struggling and having problems with just day to day things. So, we decided to get a second opinion and seek out a different pediatrician. She informed us that Asher had a speech delay. She reassured us, saying that boys sometimes developed slower than girls. Her next step would be to refer us to Help me Grow. It is a service for children to help them with speech and occupational therapy, and we could go from there. We have been BLESSED (and I don’t even think that word is strong enough) with having the ABSOLUTE BEST therapists on Asher’s path. Shortly after our visit with the new doctor we started speech and OT.  I quickly realized that this was going to be more work than I thought it would be. I would have to focus on making sure he got all the help he deserved. After a while he aged out of Help me Grow and was assessed by our local school district, and that is when EVERYTHING changed. His speech therapist came with me for support as I sat there and they delivered their assessment. They told me they strongly believed Asher had Autism and I should seek an official medical diagnosis. I know now that they could have delivered worse news, it wasn’t like he was dying. At that moment, for me, the walls caved in. I am so thankful for his speech therapist because all I heard was white noise. I simply could not comprehend what these strangers were telling me about my funny, sweet, kind boy. On the drive home I called my aunt, sobbing, repeating to her what I could remember them telling me in the meeting. She, being a straight shooter, told me, “Wipe your tears and put on your big girl pants, because now you are going to be his advocate.” And that is exactly what I did!

It took me a little bit of time, because before Asher got his diagnosis I (and I am embarrassed to admit this) did not know what Autism was. I realized that no matter what anyone told me, my love for Asher wasn’t going to change. I am thankful to have an amazing family and group of life long friends who continually support us as we try to navigate what things work best for Asher. It has been a lot of trial and error over the years. From school tours to different therapy techniques, to finding programs that worked for us and the ones that DEFINITELY did not. Asher was lucky to have found a great program at a school nearby when he was 3 and he just flourished. When we started his Autism journey he was given an assistive talking device and I was told that he may never speak again like he used to. That was one of the hardest things for me to hear. I was crushed to think that my sweet boy would never say mama again. I am pleased to say that Asher just turned 7 and he is doing AMAZING! He is attending a mainstream private school, in a classroom with typical peers. Asher still faces challenges daily. Most of which have to do with speech articulation and change in routine, but has found ways to cope healthy when he encounters something challenging. We have another child now, Lincoln and Asher is a doting big brother AGAIN! While going on this trip with Asher he has shown me more than I ever thought I could learn from my child. We celebrate the smallest victories in our house, instill kindness towards others, and patience for people who might have a harder time than we do with certain things.

 The privilege of being Ashers mom is one that I hold close to my heart. He was my first born and showed me a love that I never knew I could have. I would be lying if I said it was always easy, always smiling, full of cupcakes and rainbows. You get through it by finding your tribe. The Autism community is filled with family, friends, and individuals who will fiercely and relentlessly fight for inclusion, understanding and acceptance of individuals on the spectrum. We are a tireless group that will do whatever it takes to make sure the ones who love are heard. Regardless if they can be their own voice…WE WILL BE THEIR VOICE! Our journey has encouraged me to be a light for others who may be navigating their own storm, a helm to guide them to resources that may help, and a captain for them to reach out to as a shoulder to lean on.